The rain was relentless. The sky was black. I was lost in the middle of Wisconsin. I knew that the rivers would get me back home sooner than the roads because the rivers went in a spiral. My body floated in the violent waters for hours and I was drenched. I called my dad on my ancient flip phone and he confirmed that I should be taking the waters home. I came to a large ledge where a new vital chain of the river flowed 50 feet under. I had to jump, but there was a metal railing down there I was afraid of hitting. I was floating along and there was a CITGO station almost submerged. There was a kid throwing matches at the water and small sections caught fire. I steered clear and stayed on my path. I was on the phone with my dad and came upon a small yellow kayak under a blue tarp in the water. “Look!” my dad said on the phone, “a boat!” So I got in the boat and slipped out from under the tarp quietly so the owners wouldn’t see. A dog was in the water and sniffed at me as I went by in the boat but didn’t bark. The rivers took me to a train yard where there was an Amtrak leaving for Chicago. The conductor came over and saw me sopped and shirtless and began to radio to the police about this trespasser. I then asked him “how much for a ticket to Chicago?” He said “Twenty-two something…” and I knew I had my debit card on me so everything was fine. I then wandered into a nearby house that I knew belonged to my friends. I went through a pile of t-shirts. I tried on a Joy Division one but it was way too small. I found a different one that fit me fine. I slipped out the front door then the front gate, hoping I wouldn’t be spotted by any neighbors. I went back to the train, now composed with combed hair and nice clothes. I saw a guy from earlier in the night and said “hey! remember the guy in the boat from before?” He winked and said “no, that was a totally different person.” We all got into a small wooden hut filled with water where we went along in circles. There were mugs of coffee around the edges for us and I gladly grabbed one. There was creamer but the water took me too quickly past. The guy behind me grabbed the creamer and poured some into my mug. That was the last of the cream. I tried to dial my dad again to let him know I was safe and homebound, but realized I was calling my own number all along.